How is Masking like Weight Lifting?
Neurodivergent people frequently find it hard to fit in. It can be challenging to conform to social standards that are different from the ones that they might naturally gravitate toward. It can be so challenging that there is a name for it: masking. Masking is what Neurodivergent people do when they try to fit in with groups of people that are primarily neurotypical (or non-Neurodivergent). They “mask” their behaviour so that it matches what neurotypical people do.
As a Neurodivergent person myself, I like to compare masking to lifting a 20-pound weight. You can do it, maybe very easily. But the longer you hold that weight, the harder it is to hold. At some point, it’s impossible to hold 20 pounds, and you have to set it down. If you push yourself too hard, you could injure yourself. It’s the same with masking. A Neurodivergent person might be able to mask successfully for short periods of time, but when they push themselves for too long, they can injure themselves psychologically. To avoid the risk of stereotyping, it is also important to know that - just like with weightlifters and weights - some Neurodivergent people can mask for longer than others. Some aren’t challenged at all in social situations.
Masking is also unlike weightlifting. With weightlifting, a person can increase their exercise weight through repeated practice. While that is also true that Neurodivergent people can increase their tolerance for masking through practice, studies are showing that when a Neurodivergent person feels uncomfortable and needs a break from social situations, they should be supported to take a break, rather than pushing themselves. Forced conformance to neurotypical social standards is stressful.
Recent studies show that the stress of forced conformance is harmful to Neurodivergent people. A study published in the Clinical Psychology Review found that “higher self-reported [masking] is associated with worse mental health outcomes.” Another study published in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders found that masking "…related to poorer mental health". These two studies have been confirmed by many others.
Some forms of therapy are particularly dangerous to Neurodivergent and Autistic people because they enforce masking. For example, Applied Behavioural Analysis (ABA) uses rewards and punishments to train Neurodivergent people, like animals, to act like neurotypicals. Studies done on ABA found that it is based on weak research, essentially “barbaric”, and leads to increased symptom severity. Is it any wonder ABA’s forced conformance therapy has been banned in the UK and that some ABA therapies, like electric shock punishments, have been called “torture” by the United Nations?
Neurodiversity Aware Counselling provides a therapeutic approach that acknowledges masking as something that a Neurodivergent person might want to do, but not as something that Neurodivergent people should be forced to do. Using rewards and punishments, as ABA does, trains an internalized conformance to behaviours that cause Neurodivergent people harm. Essentially, Neurodivergent people subjected to ABA will experience stress if they do not conform, because they will be psychologically trained to expect punishment if they do not. And Neurodivergent people will also experience stress if they do conform, because masking causes stress and exhaustion. It’s a deadly no-win situation.
To learn more about how to bring masking into healthy balance with your life, book a session with Neurodiversity Aware Counselling.
