What is Neurodivergent Masking?
Neurodivergent people frequently find it hard to fit in. It can be challenging to conform to social standards that are different from the ones that they might naturally gravitate toward. It can be so challenging that there is a name for it: masking. Masking is what Neurodivergent people do when they try to fit in with groups of people that are primarily neurotypical (or non-Neurodivergent). They “mask” their behaviour so that it matches what neurotypical people do.
Masking does not occur in just one type of situation. Neurodivergent people might mask in social settings, in school, in family environments, in public spaces, and especially in the workplace. The workplace is often one of the most difficult environments for masking because the stakes are higher and the expectations are less flexible. There are often unspoken social rules, expectations around communication style, productivity norms, sensory environments, and hierarchical pressures that leave little room for difference. In many cases, a person’s livelihood depends on their ability to conform. This creates a situation where masking is not simply a choice, but a survival strategy. The combination of sustained performance demands, limited recovery time, and the pressure to appear consistently competent makes workplace masking particularly exhausting and, over time, potentially harmful.
As a Neurodivergent person myself, I compare masking to lifting a 10-pound weight at arm's length. You can do it, maybe very easily. But the longer you hold that weight, the harder it is to hold. At some point, it’s impossible to hold 10 pounds at arm's length, and you have to set it down. If you push yourself too hard, you could injure yourself. It’s the same with masking. A Neurodivergent person might be able to mask successfully for short periods of time, but when they push themselves for too long, they can injure themselves psychologically. To avoid the risk of stereotyping, it is also important to know that - just like with weightlifters and weights - some Neurodivergent people can mask for longer than others. Some aren’t challenged at all in social situations.
Masking is also unlike weightlifting. With weightlifting, a person can increase their exercise weight through repeated practice. While it is also true that Neurodivergent people can increase their tolerance for masking through practice, studies show that when a Neurodivergent person feels uncomfortable and needs a break from social situations, they should be supported to do so, rather than encouraged to keep pushing themselves.
Forced conformance to neurotypical social standards is stressful, and recent studies show that it is harmful to Neurodivergent people. A study published in the Clinical Psychology Review found that “higher self-reported [masking] is associated with worse mental health outcomes.” Another study published in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders found that masking "…related to poorer mental health". Other studies confirm these findings.
Some forms of therapy are particularly dangerous to Neurodivergent and Autistic people because they enforce masking. For example, Applied Behavioural Analysis (ABA) uses rewards and punishments to train Neurodivergent people, like animals, to act like neurotypicals. Studies done on ABA found that it is based on weak research, essentially “barbaric”, and leads to increased symptom severity. Is it any wonder ABA’s forced conformance therapy has been banned in the UK and that some ABA therapies, like electric shock punishments, have been called “torture” by the United Nations?
When neuronormative conformance is the goal, a neurodivergent person is likely to consider themselves a failure when they reach the limits of their ability to mask. Thus, they will experience stress if they do not succeed at conformance-based tasks, but they will also experience stress if they do conform, because masking causes stress and exhaustion. This creates a deadly no-win situation, and can result in lower self-esteem, self-compassion, and even self-harm.
To learn more about how to bring masking into healthy balance with your life, book a session with Neurodiversity Aware Counselling.
Masking does not occur in just one type of situation. Neurodivergent people might mask in social settings, in school, in family environments, in public spaces, and especially in the workplace. The workplace is often one of the most difficult environments for masking because the stakes are higher and the expectations are less flexible. There are often unspoken social rules, expectations around communication style, productivity norms, sensory environments, and hierarchical pressures that leave little room for difference. In many cases, a person’s livelihood depends on their ability to conform. This creates a situation where masking is not simply a choice, but a survival strategy. The combination of sustained performance demands, limited recovery time, and the pressure to appear consistently competent makes workplace masking particularly exhausting and, over time, potentially harmful.
As a Neurodivergent person myself, I compare masking to lifting a 10-pound weight at arm's length. You can do it, maybe very easily. But the longer you hold that weight, the harder it is to hold. At some point, it’s impossible to hold 10 pounds at arm's length, and you have to set it down. If you push yourself too hard, you could injure yourself. It’s the same with masking. A Neurodivergent person might be able to mask successfully for short periods of time, but when they push themselves for too long, they can injure themselves psychologically. To avoid the risk of stereotyping, it is also important to know that - just like with weightlifters and weights - some Neurodivergent people can mask for longer than others. Some aren’t challenged at all in social situations.
Masking is also unlike weightlifting. With weightlifting, a person can increase their exercise weight through repeated practice. While it is also true that Neurodivergent people can increase their tolerance for masking through practice, studies show that when a Neurodivergent person feels uncomfortable and needs a break from social situations, they should be supported to do so, rather than encouraged to keep pushing themselves.
Forced conformance to neurotypical social standards is stressful, and recent studies show that it is harmful to Neurodivergent people. A study published in the Clinical Psychology Review found that “higher self-reported [masking] is associated with worse mental health outcomes.” Another study published in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders found that masking "…related to poorer mental health". Other studies confirm these findings.
Some forms of therapy are particularly dangerous to Neurodivergent and Autistic people because they enforce masking. For example, Applied Behavioural Analysis (ABA) uses rewards and punishments to train Neurodivergent people, like animals, to act like neurotypicals. Studies done on ABA found that it is based on weak research, essentially “barbaric”, and leads to increased symptom severity. Is it any wonder ABA’s forced conformance therapy has been banned in the UK and that some ABA therapies, like electric shock punishments, have been called “torture” by the United Nations?
When neuronormative conformance is the goal, a neurodivergent person is likely to consider themselves a failure when they reach the limits of their ability to mask. Thus, they will experience stress if they do not succeed at conformance-based tasks, but they will also experience stress if they do conform, because masking causes stress and exhaustion. This creates a deadly no-win situation, and can result in lower self-esteem, self-compassion, and even self-harm.
To learn more about how to bring masking into healthy balance with your life, book a session with Neurodiversity Aware Counselling.
Sep 18 - Written By Dan Spring
