Accommodations and Belonging in Family Relationships
Apr 16 - Written By Dan Spring
In the winter of 2026, I was invited to speak on AMI-tv's Reflections podcast about disability, accommodations, and the challenges that can arise in family relationships when needs are not well understood or supported.
We discussed how accommodations in family settings are often more complex than in public. There are no clear policies, and emotional history can make even simple requests feel high-stakes. For neurodivergent individuals and others living with disabilities, this can create ongoing tension between maintaining relationships and advocating for what is actually needed to function and feel well.
We also discussed how accommodations are sometimes misinterpreted as unfair or excessive. In reality, they are a way of creating conditions where each person can participate more fully and sustainably in the relationship. When understood in this way, accommodations are not about imbalance. They are about making belonging possible.
If this is something you’ve experienced, you’re not alone. These dynamics are common, and they can be worked through with greater clarity, communication, and mutual understanding.
You can listen to the full conversation here:
Spotify
Apple Podcasts
Note: During the podcast, I was introduced as a psychologist. This was an error. I am a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) and Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC).
The following credit is attributed to the image featuring a family separated by a line from a wheelchair:
"Defining who gets to be a family through iconography. Also the strange conflation of family with disability. This sign contains an entire master's thesis inside it." by Juiceboy is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.
Dan Spring
4 days ago
We discussed how accommodations in family settings are often more complex than in public. There are no clear policies, and emotional history can make even simple requests feel high-stakes. For neurodivergent individuals and others living with disabilities, this can create ongoing tension between maintaining relationships and advocating for what is actually needed to function and feel well.
We also discussed how accommodations are sometimes misinterpreted as unfair or excessive. In reality, they are a way of creating conditions where each person can participate more fully and sustainably in the relationship. When understood in this way, accommodations are not about imbalance. They are about making belonging possible.
If this is something you’ve experienced, you’re not alone. These dynamics are common, and they can be worked through with greater clarity, communication, and mutual understanding.
You can listen to the full conversation here:
Spotify
Apple Podcasts
Note: During the podcast, I was introduced as a psychologist. This was an error. I am a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) and Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC).
The following credit is attributed to the image featuring a family separated by a line from a wheelchair:
"Defining who gets to be a family through iconography. Also the strange conflation of family with disability. This sign contains an entire master's thesis inside it." by Juiceboy is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.
Dan Spring
4 days ago
